Love Mantra

One day Shankaran Pillai went to a park. He saw an attractive women seated on a stone bench. He settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes he moved a little closer. She moved away. He waited for a few minutes, then moved a little closer; she moved away. When he did this again, she moved to the very end of the bench. He went very close and put his arm around her. She shoves him away. Then he went down on his knees, plucked a flower, handed it to her, and said, "I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life."

The sun was setting. He had a flower in his hand. He looked at her with a melting gaze. Above all, the ambience was right. She thawed. Nature took over and they had their way with each other. The dusk deepened into night. Shankaran Pillai suddenly sprang to his feet and said, "it's eight o clock. I need to go." 

She said, "What? Now? You just said you loved me more than anything else!" 

"Yes, yes, of course, but my wife will be waiting." 

Generally, we have made relationships with frameworks that are comfortable and profitable for us. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial, and social needs to fulfill. To fulfill these needs, one of the best ways is to tell someone, "I love you." This so-called love has become something of an "open sesame" mantra. You can get what you want by saying it. 

Love is a quality, not something to do with somebody else. Every action that we do is in some way to fulfill certain needs. If you see this, then there is a possibility that you can grow into love as your natural quality. But you can go on fooling yourself into believing that the relationships you have made for convenience, comfort, and well-being are actually relationships of love. I am not saying there is no experience of love at all in these associations, but it is within certain limitations. It does not matter how many times true love has been proclaimed; if a few expectations and requirements are not fulfilled, things fall apart. This is essentially a mutual benefit scheme.

There is no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love. There are conditions and there is love. When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement, but that will not fulfill you or transport you to another dimension. It is just convenient. Love need not necessarily be convenient; most of the time it is not. It takes life. You have to invest yourself. 

If you have to be in love, you should not be. The English expression "falling in love" is very significant. You don't climb in love, you don't stand in love, you don't fly in love, you fall in love. Something of you should fall or melt away to accommodate the other. There is a distinction between a transaction and a love affair. A love affair need not be with any particular person; you could be having a great love affair with life itself.

What you do or do not do is in accordance with the cirmustances you are in. Our actions are always moulded by the demands of external situations. But love is an inner state, and how you are within yourself can definitely be unconditional. Acts of love can become tedious and stressful over a period of time. You realize love is not something that you do; love is the way you are.

Excerpt from the book "Inner Engineering" by "Sadhguru".